This is part 3 of 5 of the mindset series about limiting beliefs.
- No 1 limiting belief most people face in life
- Why being perfect isn’t the solution
- How to overcome your fear of failure
- What you can do to overcome the imposter in you
- Why being multipassionate is your strength
THE ROOT OF FEAR OF FAILURE
THERE IS NO FAILURE YOU EITHER WIN OR LEARN
Fear of failure can have different sources.
2 common reasons for fear of failure is the fear of shame and self-doubt.
WHY SHAME IS HOLDING YOU BACK
Our fear of shame is connected more to other people than to ourselves.
Connection with other people is one of our core values.
This has been handed down to us already as little babies.
As babies, we were dependent on other people to survive.
Scientists assert that one of the reasons why babies and small children have large eyes compared to adults is because we perceive it as cute and an urge for ” I want to care for you” is being triggered.
Now I don´t know how much of this is relevant for why we like to care for babies and children, but what I`m sure of is that we care too much about what other people say and think.
- what other people might think of us
- we fear to be ridiculed
- not taken seriously
- to be excluded from our family/friends/community
While being excluded from the community in the stone age meant the death for the excluded person today we can easily connect with like-minded people from all around the globe.
This means you don´t have to sacrifice your authenticity for connection, but can be authentic and connect with like-minded people.
People who don´t agree with your goals, dreams and what you are up to will judge you.
But there will be always people who are going to judge you for something. You can´t please everyone.
WHY SELF-DOUBT KEEPS YOU STUCK
Another reason for our fear of failure can be self-doubt.
Self-doubt can kill more dreams than failure would ever be able to do so.
Excessive self-doubt also called Atychiphobia is a fear of not being good enough mixed with a fear of being imperfect.
I talked in day 1 about why you are enough and in day 2 about why perfection is a myth. Feel free to go back to read day 1 and day 2.
Doubting yourself serves no purpose while failing can bring you closer to your dreams.
If you find yourself in the trap of self-doubt keep in mind that failing can serve you a purpose.
WHY FAILING IS GOOD
While doubting yourself keeps you stuck, you can learn from each and every one of your failures.
Whenever the outcome of a situation is different as from what you´ve imagined it to be and you perceive it as a failure ask yourself following questions.
- What can I learn from this situation?
- What are the positive things in this situation?
Once you identified the positive things and what you´ve learned from this situation embrace the change and move on.
Apply for your next plan all that you´ve learned from your failure.
IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT YOUR FEAR TO FAIL
What would you do if your fear of failure wouldn´t exist?
Ask yourself the question:
- What would I do if my fear of ….. wouldn´t exist?
Imagine how your life would be, what actions you would take and how you would feel when you wouldn´t have this particular fear of failure.
HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE
Whenever you feel fear of failure don´t try to suppress your fear but acknowledge it instead.
Close your eyes and observe the sensations in your body with your mind’s eye for about 4 to 5 minutes.
Solely focus your attention on your body sensations instead of paying attention to the chatter in your mind and the images in your head.
Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing and on the sensations in your body.
All our feelings are impermanent and manifest in sensations in our body.
The sensations are always changing and so are our feelings.
By simply observing your sensations detached from your thoughts and images in your head you are able to refocus your attention and to change your feelings naturally.
1. ACCEPT YOUR FEAR
You aren´t suppressing them just letting them go.
2. FAILING DOESN´T MEAN YOU ARE A FAILURE
Know that you as a being are not a failure just because you failed in accomplishing your goal.
3. ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF
What exactly are you afraid of?
Ask yourself what your fear is about and imagine the worst thing that can happen regarding your fear.
4. WHAT´S THE WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO
Imagine the worst possible outcome and what you would do.
5. MAKE A PLAN B
Make a plan B if you feel comfortable with a backup plan.
6. TAKE ACTION
Learn to ask for help. Team up with like-minded people or get a coach. Take action.
1. WHY DO WE FEAR TO FAIL
Most of the time it can be traced back to 2 causes.
2. TO FAIL IS BETTER THAN NOT TO TRY
While we can always learn from failures we can´t learn from things we don´t try.
3. ONCE YOU FAIL EMBRACE THE CHANGE + LEARN FROM IT
We can´t control all circumstances in life. Therefore failure is inevitable.
Embrace whenever you fail, use it as a lesson and learn from it.
4. IMAGINE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT YOUR FEAR TO FAIL
How would you live your life without your fear to fail?
- what you would do
- how you would live
- who you would become
5. DEAL WITH YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE AND TAKE ACTION ANYWAY
Acknowledge your fear, push through your discomfort and take action anyway to pursue your dreams.
WANT TO LEARN MORE HOW TO OVERCOME LIMITING BELIEFS?
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What´s your limiting belief holding you back from realizing your dreams?
Related post: Part 1 – no 1 limiting belief
Related post: Part 2 – perfectionism
Related post: Part 3 – imposter syndrome
Related post: Part 5 – multipassionate