“How can I create my dream life?”
This is probably a question you asked yourself in this form or another.
Especially if you are in a place right now that sucks.
Maybe it’s a soul-sucking 9 to 5 you wanna escape and are dreaming of starting your own business.
What if I told you that it’s not so much about the circumstances you are in, but more about how you think about these circumstances and more importantly how you react to it.
One of two major lessons I learned in life especially through intensive meditation is that:
first, everything starts with a sensation and second that our mind is never quiet.
Our brain always analyzes something.
It´s never still and it is more often engaged in negative thoughts than being grateful for the positive things in our lives.
Whether we want it or not thoughts and images pop up in our minds constantly and we can’t do anything about it.
These thoughts can be triggered by a sensation we feel in our body, by a smell, by a picture we see. Really by anything.
Sensations are always present in our physical existence.
Usually, we are to busy living our lives and not recognizing these subtle sensations we have all the time.
They are pleasant and unpleasant and can influence what we think about.
And our thoughts are the driving force to how we perceive our lives to be.
Our thoughts shape our reality.
How you experience your life does not only depend on your circumstances but more on how you perceive your surroundings.
We experience the world based on our thoughts and beliefs.
TABLE OF CONTENT
- Your thoughts determine your life
- Be aware of your thoughts
- Practice mindfulness
- Forget positive thinking
- Don’t get caught up in your feelings
- Take action
YOUR THOUGHTS DETERMINE YOUR LIFE
Despite the circumstances we are in:
Our thoughts are always the starting point for our reality.
What we think about a certain situation will influence our results.
The thoughts we are thinking influence how we feel.
Our feelings influence our actions.
And our actions give us the results in our life.
It can be summed up in this simple equation:
Your thoughts + your feelings + your actions = your results
No matter what you want in your life it always starts with your thoughts.
Thoughts you are thinking over and over again can turn over time into beliefs.
Both thoughts and beliefs are oftentimes the hindering blocks on the road towards our dreams.
Therefore it´s important to be mindful of your thoughts so you get the results you want in life.
Take a few minutes and answer these questions for yourself:
- What thoughts am I thinking when it comes to my biggest goal?
- What are my beliefs about my ability to reach this goal?
- Which are the limiting beliefs holding me back from going for it?
Knowing these answers will help you to see where you need to make changes so you can create your best life.
While thoughts and beliefs are either supporting or hindering you in creating your best life, limiting beliefs will always stop you from living your true potential.
Limiting beliefs are nothing more, but self-limiting thoughts you keep on thinking over and over again.
BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
As thoughts are the starting point to create your best life, you need to start by observing your thoughts.
It´s easier said than done.
We have about 60.000 thoughts per day from which most of the thoughts are negative and not useful.
It’s because of our brain´s negative bias.
Our brains are programmed the way to be more sensitive towards negativity. So it can assess the risk we are in and prevent us from danger.
All our brain wants, is to keep us alive.
Therefore it will always tend towards negative thoughts in any new given, unfamiliar situation.
Buddhist monks like to call our minds the monkey mind. Because it´s so busy processing information that it constantly moves around like a monkey.
Thoughts pop in all the time.
- So how to train your mind to help you realize your dream?
What I found works really well is to be mindful of the thoughts.
Therefore I share with you my favorite quick and easy mindfulness exercise you can practice anytime at home.
Make yourself comfortable, preferably sit down, close your eyes and take 5 minutes.
In this 5 minutes, you are just going to observe your thoughts.
Don´t try to get caught up in them.
Try to separate yourself from the thoughts and just observe.
The goal of this exercise is to become aware of your inner chatter even if it´s just for a fraction of time.
Repeat this exercise every day to become more aware of your thoughts, because these thoughts shape your reality.
The more you are aware of your inner chatter, the more you can influence your thoughts into the direction you want to move in life.
FORGET POSITIVE THINKING
There is the idea that we can cover up our negative thought by thinking positive thoughts instead.
But this idea couldn’t be further from the truth.
Harvard Medical School Professor, Susan David has another suggestion on how to create happiness.
She suggests to detach ourselves from our internal experiences and to just pay close attention to our thoughts and feelings.
Without judging and without trying to change them.
Side note: Use the exercise above to get started!
We should be aware of our thoughts and feelings instead of pushing them away because research shows that whenever we push our negative thoughts and emotions aside it won´t disappear but come back to us in a magnified manner.
Another interesting fact she is sharing is that pursuing happiness won´t make us happy.
Whenever we focus on trying to be happier we magnify the lack of happiness in our lives.
On the other side, living aligned with our core values is the secret to living a happy life.
By going for your dreams and doing what you love, happiness will be a natural by-product.
DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN YOUR FEELINGS
Our feelings are strongly interlinked with our thoughts.
Whenever we are happy, sad or angry it’s because we thought certain thoughts before.
We can´t experience an emotional feeling without having a thought about it.
Whenever you feel sad, happy or angry for example you can check your thoughts and observe which thoughts you are thinking at that moment.
If you are sad you don’t think happy thoughts.
You will think thoughts that make you sad.
This is good to know because whenever you check your thoughts you realize that you have the power to think what you want.
The purpose is not trying to be happy all the time.
In fact, it won´t work, because our life experience is always a mix of positive and negative thoughts and feelings.
This is an essential part of our human experience.
No one is happy all the time.
However, you can use this knowledge to influence your feelings whenever you decide that you want to be happy instead of being sad.
Or on the contrary, you can also use this knowledge and cry on purpose to release tension.
Besides your thoughts and feelings, action is the third important part to create your best life.
The action is what will ultimately give you the results.
Here are 10 action steps you can take right now to create your best life:
1. MAKE AN ASSESSMENT OF YOUR CURRENT LIFE SITUATION
Use the level 10 life concept to make an assessment of your current life situation.
2. DEFINE YOUR IDEAL LIFE
Think about your best possible life.
If money wasn’t an obstacle how would you live?
3. ENVISION YOUR BEST LIFE
Not only imagine but envision and really feel into your best possible life.
4. SET SMART GOALS
Take your current life situation and your desired life situation and set smart goals for the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be.
5. WRITE DOWN A STRATEGIC PLAN OF HOW YOU ARE GOING TO REACH YOUR GOALS
Break down your smart goals into yearly, quarterly, monthly goals and finally into weekly and daily tasks.
If you want to have a step by step planner guiding you from your life vision down to your daily goals I can highly recommend grabbing the Slay Your Goals Planner.
This printable planner will literally walk you through the entire process.
6. ESTABLISH SUPPORTIVE HABITS
See which habits would bring you closer to your goal and establish supportive habits to reach them.
Read the post How to form new habits to get started.
7. LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW
Learn to appreciate what you have in your life right now.
Grab the 5 Minute Journal and practice gratitude daily.
8. USE VISUALIZATION AND AFFIRMATION TO SUPPORT YOUR VISION
Create a vision board and use positive affirmations daily.
Keep in mind that these affirmations will only work if you believe them.
For example Saying I’m a millionaire when you are broke won’t help.
Only say affirmations to yourself that you truly believe.
Always try to formulate the affirmations neutral if your current situation is too far away from your desired result.
In this example, it could make sense to say “I have enough money to provide for myself” or something that is true for you instead of saying “I’m broke” or “I’m a millionaire”.
9. CHOOSE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER TO WORK WITH
For best results choose a friend, family member or colleague with a similar goal as your accountability partner.
Both of you can cheer each other on to move closer towards your goals.
10. SCHEDULE REGULAR MEET-UPS WITH YOUR ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
Check-in on each other with your accountability partner regularly and motivate each other to reach your goals.
All tools I recommend or mention in this post at a glance:
- Slay Your Goals Planner is 75+ pages, printable planner helping you to set reachable yearly, quarterly, weekly and daily goals
- 5 Minute Journal is the gratitude journal you can use daily to enhance more positivity in your life
You might be also interested in How to reach your goals by using fear as your fuel
Download the FREE Reach Your Goals Guide!