My journey towards self-love began before meeting my wonderful husband Ruben.
I was fed up meeting the “wrong” guys and after another grasp into the void (in Germany we say a grasp into the toilet), I decided to start looking after myself instead of looking for the right guy.
I realized that we can´t truly and unconditionally love others until we give the true, unconditional love to ourselves.
With giving love we have to start with ourselves.
Our love tanks have to be filled up with love before we go into a relationship.
Otherwise, we go into a relationship with the feeling of being incomplete and expect from our partner to complete us.
We start our relationship from a position of neediness and the relationship is doomed to failure.
TABLE OF CONTENT
- What is self-love
- 4 self-love strategies to boost your confidence
- Mentors for deep transformation
WHAT IS SELF-LOVE
Self-love is often falsely attributed to vanity and arrogance.
But it couldn´t be further from the truth.
Self-love means respecting and cherishing ourselves as human and spiritual beings.
Once we lack self-love and find ourselves in a relationship, we want our partner to make us feel loved and happy.
We become co-dependent of our partner.
A withdrawal or break-up, in this case, leads to a terrible feeling of loneliness, helplessness and increases our insecurity about ourselves even more.
As a result, we are left with mixed feelings of shame, negativity and the pessimistic thought that all great guys are taken and that we might be alone forever.
This is at least how I felt back then after the break up with “Mr. I`m not the one”.
Instead of feeling this way we should rather ask ourselves:
“ Why do I feel so lonely, when I´m not in a relationship?”
“ What is the void I try to fill with a relationship?”
Find a way to take care of yourself and to counter these feelings.
Choose uplifting thoughts over pessimistic ones.
We are the writer of our own story and although we have not so much in control in life, we can control one thing and this is our mind!
How we think influences the way how we feel and this then again influences the way how we act!
Act according to the experiences you want to attract into your life.
Be in the flow of life and with yourself as often as possible!
4 SELF-LOVE STRATEGIES TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE
I´ll share with you 4 easy ways to build a loving relationship with yourself.
You can implement these strategies into your daily life right now!
Make it as part of your morning or evening ritual on a regular basis to receive the benefits of this practice.
1. SAY YES TO YOURSELF
Accept yourself the way how you are.
Acknowledge that perfection is an illusion and that nobody and nothing in this world is perfect.
Know that you are able to make changes in your life to become more of who you want to be.
Learn to say yes to yourself and no to others whenever it ´s needed.
Don´t overcommit yourself with things which are not important or don´t matter to you
Start listening to your inner voice by becoming more often quiet.
Meditation is a great tool to start hearing your inner voice.
Ask yourself every day what you can do for yourself to be happy
2. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Stop criticizing yourself for past mistakes and behavior and don´t blame yourself for your past experiences.
Blame creates guilt, guilt seeks punishment and punishment always creates pain.
Forgive yourself instead of blaming yourself.
Learn from past mistakes and experiences.
Instead of blaming yourself ask yourself the question “ What can I learn from this experience?”
Insight and forgiveness is the first step towards your bright future.
Be patient with yourself.
3. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF
Acknowledge your achievements and celebrate yourself.
Be aware of the value you contribute to others.
Be proud of your personal achievements.
You can make a little exercise and name 5 things every day, you are proud of.
It might be some of your positive characteristics or positive contributions you may have made to others or in general to society.
4. KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH
Early in our childhood we already start hearing and experiencing criticism or comparisons from our family, friends or in kindergarten or school.
We experience that we are not “perfect” and start doubting ourselves because we think someone else or something else is perfect.
The feeling of being not enough starts to arise within us.
This feeling remains in our unconscious mind and is always there unless we start paying attention to it.
We need to realize that we are good enough as we are.
You don´t have to be taller, smaller, smarter or whatever the media or your surroundings are telling you to be like.
MENTORS FOR DEEP TRANSFORMATION
If you are interested in learning more about how our mind works and want to transform on a subconscious, deep level there is no better place to start as with Marisa Peer.
Her sessions are a game changer!
She is a well-known, popular hypnotherapist among celebrities in Los Angeles as well as in the UK specialized in self-confidence.
Her hourly rate for one hypnotherapy session is around 3000$ and she is booked far in advance.
I believe her newest book I am enough is a great way to get started.
All tools I mentioned in this post at a glance:
- Ultimate Confidence is a book written by Marisa Peer that helps you build self-confidence
- Abundance Now is a book written by Lisa Nichols that teaches you how to create an abundant mindset no matter how your current life looks like.
- I Am Enough is a book written by Marisa Peer that teaches to accept that you are enough just the way you are.
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