Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs.
Our circumstances and emotions are in constant change.
We can´t simply eliminate negative emotions from our lives, they are part of our human experience.
Being happy is what life makes fun and awesome, right?
I know and there are different ways we can actively do to be happy.
- One is by adopting new positive habits into our daily lives.
- Another is to simply eliminate destructive habits.
- The third way is to replace the destructive with supportive ones.
In this post, I focus on the second way – eliminating destructive habits.
HOW TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE BY QUITTING THESE THINGS
Stop making excuses why you are stuck in a certain situation.
We all face different struggles in our lives during our entire lifetime and we will always have different options for how we react to it and what we can do about it.
We can always:
- Be upset and blame others for our circumstances.
- Bury our heads in the sand, being passive and doing nothing but pity ourselves.
- Realize what´s going, looking for a solution and actively go towards the solution. Despite the fact that we are feeling shitty at that time.
Where there is a problem, there is also always a solution.
And as Einstein said:
“ No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it “
This means that we have to stop overanalyzing our problem and tap into the creative side of our brain.
With actively taking responsibility for ourselves and taking action we move from a victim mindset to a makers mindset.
We´ll be finding much faster solutions when we focus on the solution and take action instead of sitting around and overanalyzing our problem.
Our brain will use the creative side to come up with solutions for our problem.
Being a lazy couch potato and doing nothing but sitting around has never made anyone truly fulfilled and happy, I guess.
We strive for growth from the moment we are here on earth. That´s in our genes.
We are all born curious and are here to flourish and grow.
To find our passion and to realize our dreams.
Laziness is an antidote to happiness.
Being lazy won´t make us happy in the long run.
What do you want to tell to your great grandkids when you are sitting relaxed in your rocket chair at the age of 95?
Do you want to tell them awesome stories of your life?
The passions you pursued and the dreams you realized?
Or that you´ve spent your whole life with letting the years pass by.
3. SELF CENTEREDNESS
Being egoistic won´t make us happy.
We don´t have to walk over dead bodies to reach our goals and to live an amazing life either.
In fact, it´s exactly the opposite.
Community instead of competition is what makes us human beings deep down really happy.
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Now there is a difference between being egoistic and knowing one´s own limitations and taking care for themselves.
These two are oftentimes confused with one another.
Knowing your own limitations and setting healthy boundaries for yourself is an important part of self-care.
The key part here is that no one else is being harmed while you do so.
Being egoistic on the other hand is when you think that you are the center of the universe. Everything seems to refer to you. You are putting yourself above others and don´t acknowledge that their thoughts, feelings, and actions are equal to yours. Whenever you might even have the desire to dominate and control other people it comes from your egoistic self-centeredness.
Being egoistic and totally self-centered is a thing you have to drop to live a happy life in harmony with other people.
4. CLOSED MINDSET
A closed mindset will never allow you to live to your full potential and to be as happy as you could be.
Because a closed mindset is characterized by the idea that everything is predetermined.
A closed mindset believes what it sees. The life you live, the surrounding you are in. It believes that it´s always going to be like this.
Whenever a challenge/problem is coming up the closed mindset will find excuses, blame others or bury the head in the sand and give up.
A growth mindset, on the contrary, believes in the possibility to create. It will always look for the possibilities to unfold the potential and to find a solution.
A growth mindset will constantly bring you towards your dream and to live out your full potential.
“There is no failure, you either win or learn”
Focus on the future and you will find something to be afraid of.
Why? Because we can´t predict the future. It´s uncertain and everything uncertain is uncomfortable for us. It fuels our fear.
Fear to fail, or fear of not being good enough or a fear of an unforeseen circumstance that could happen to us.
We can´t really control what´s happening next and therefore focusing on the future combined with negative thoughts fuels our fear.
Focusing on the future combined with positive thoughts on the contrary fuels our vision.
Lisa Nichols ones gave a very nice explanation of what fear really is.
It´s nothing more, just that simple. Therefore next time you feel overwhelmed by fear just drop it.
Focusing on the now is much more powerful.
The now is where our ability to create truly lives.
All we have is now!
If you want to learn how to be in the now I can highly recommend reading the book the power of now by Eckhart Tolle.
A negative companion of fear can be indecisiveness.
The fear of not making the right decision.
Delaying decisions, however, can have worse consequences than just to decide and see how it turns out.
I´m not talking about logically evaluating the consequences of a decision.
But more about spending a bunch of time on making up 1000 different scenarios how a certain decision might turn out and as an end result feeling paralyzed and not making any decision at all.
This happened to me a lot of times before and maybe you can relate to this problem to a certain degree as well.
I´ve spent days and weeks thinking about a certain thing, feeling paralyzed and delaying the decision.
Instead of just deciding and moving on, I was accompanied by fear for days for no apparent reason. The worst case scenarios were only in my head.
We can guess how a decision might affect our future life, but never know how it will truly turn out until we make a decision.
Therefore no need to overanalyze and to waste time with being indecisive.
7. VICTIM MINDSET
A victim mindset is similar to making excuses.
The difference between both is that by making excuses you find always an answer why you don´t do what you truly want to do.
“I`m tired”, “I don´t have money”, I don´t have time”, “I´m too old”, “I´m too young” etc.
With a victim mindset, you constantly blame other people and the circumstances as the reason why you don´t do what you want to do.
“I had a bad childhood”, “I was always bad at school” (just made up examples to illustrate you the difference)
The common sum of both is that it comes from a deep belief of not being able to create your life but being powerless.
Ditching the victim mindset and focusing on what´s possible right now instead of what happened in the past will automatically empower you and adjust you towards happiness.
Have you ever seen a person who was stressed out and at the same time happy?
Being stressed out won´t bring you any benefits.
On the other hand, I´ve seen a bunch of people who were relaxed and at the same time happy.
From my understanding, both relaxation and happiness go well together.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as possible and to bring in more relaxation.
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“ Comparison is the death of joy “ as Mark Twain said and I totally agree with him.
Comparing an apple to an orange doesn´t make any sense.
Both are fruits and delicious, but they are different! .. in taste, shape, color, feel etc.
The same applies to you and to other people.
We all are humans, yes – but we and our journeys are different.
It doesn´t make any sense to compare your looks to another person, your achievements in life to another person’s achievements etc.
You can always be inspired by other people and do your own thing, but for being happy stop comparing yourself to others.
10. NO VISION & NO GOALS
No vision = No goals = unfulfilled desired = unhappiness
What goals do you have, to live the life of your dreams?
It´s important to figure out what you want in life in the first place by envisioning your best possible future before you even start setting goals.
How does the most amazing life you desire look like?
If you can´t answer this question and don´t know what you want who else should know it and how should you ever make a plan to realize it?
We are all responsible for our own lives.
It´s totally up to us what we make of what we have.
“If you don´t design your own life plan, chances are you´ll fall into someone else´s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. “ Jim Rohn
“You can´t hit a target you never set” Jim Rohn
Stop compromising in your job, in your relationship, and on your health.
Start taking into consideration in all areas of your life what you truly desire.
Know what you want in the first place and act accordingly.
Stop being a people pleaser and set healthy boundaries in your life.
It´s ok to say no in certain situations to other people and more often yes to what really matters to you.
12. BEATING YOURSELF UP
Dwelling in the past and especially in our past made mistakes is a limiting activity we sometimes fall into.
Picture a muddy road and a car trying to move forward, but stuck with the rear wheels without being able to move forward.
This is exactly what happens to us when we start dwelling in the past and beating ourselves up for past mistakes.
It literally gets us stuck.
Mistakes and failures are part of our life and make total sense when we see them as a teacher.
What can I learn from this mistake? Should be the leading question whenever you get stuck in the past.
Beating yourself up won´t bring you forward in any case.
It just has the effect that you feel even worse.
Therefore stop it, take the mistake, learn from it and grow into the person you want to become.
13. LACK OF SELF AWARENESS
Self-awareness is the ability to see that there is an internal and an external world for all of us.
Our internal world is what we experience through our thoughts and feelings.
We respond with our internal world to the external happenings. & Oftentimes we respond unconsciously.
Our external world, on the other hand, is what we perceive through our senses. This is what we see, hear, smell, taste and feel by touch.
We interpret with our internal world what we experience through our senses.
Two people might be in the same situation but interpret the external world completely in a different way.
Therefore their response to the external world might be totally different.
Oftentimes we simply misinterpret things by reacting to an external factor unconsciously without self-awareness and without mindfulness.
Be self-aware of your thoughts and feelings to see your internal world crystal clear. Seeing things as often as possible “as it is” will automatically put you in a place of happiness because we oftentimes overdramatize things.
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14. LACK OF SELF WORTH & SELF CONFIDENCE
Feeling not worthy and not trusting in your own ability to reach your goals are contradicting with living a happy life.
Build your self-worth by evaluating the beliefs about yourself first.
You can use positive affirmations and hypnotherapy to overcome limiting beliefs about yourself.
Bearing grudges is like holding glowing coals in your hands.
You hurt yourself over and over again.
Whenever you think about the situation you feel the pain.
So why not just drop the glowing coals?
You can´t change anything happened in the past.
Just drop it & let it go!
Learn from the experience, leave it and move on!
Another happiness killer is gossiping.
I´m sure we all did it at one point in our lives. And did it make us happy? I don´t think so!
Gossiping about other people indicates that we are different to them and it causes separation.
However, in our deepest core, we all strive for connection.
Our ancestors in the stone age would have never survived on their own. They all lived in communities.
Our brains haven´t evolved that much since then and the deep yearning for connection with other people is still within us.
By gossiping about others we not only separate from them but also emphasize what we perceive as negative.
Instead of gossiping about others we can look into ourselves and recognize why we perceive a certain thing about another person as negative.
Instead of gossiping, we can use our negative thoughts to learn about ourselves.
Use it as a fuel for self-growth instead of separating yourself from others.
Being alone and being lonely are two different pairs of shoes.
You can choose to be alone and still be full of joyfulness, while you can´t be lonely and happy at the same time.
By being alone you separate yourself on purpose physically from other ppl.
Loneliness is more an emotion, where you feel disconnected from other people and/or to the world itself.
As community and relationships are a major contributor to our happiness, we can´t be happy when we feel totally disconnected and out of alignment with the world.
You can only judge other people when you elevate yourself above them and act out of your egoic mind.
It´s like gossiping next level.
Not only talking bad about someone but also judging them.
Sometimes we even judge ourselves.
Just to feel bad afterward.
There is no point in judging other people or yourself.
If you want to learn more about judgment and how to overcome it check out the book called the Judgement Detox by Gabby Bernstein.
19. ONLINE 24/7
Being online 24/7 equals to being distracted all the time and not being able to perceive the beauty of this world as it is.
It`s energy draining and it also disconnects us to our energy source the sun and our nature.
Both are important factors for us to live a happy life.
We need them to produce certain hormones and to relax.
Having unplugged days in sunshine and nature are excellent tools to boost your happiness.
I came to a realization through a talk with the German neuroscientist Dr.Gerald Hüther that in life we either create or consume.
Let this sink in!
And recap your day and even your week to see when you created vs when you consumed something during the day.
Consuming can be food, media, purchasing things online etc.
Overconsumption in all cases let it be overconsuming food, or in general overconsuming stuff leads to problems.
Health-related and emotional issues.
While whenever we create something we tap into the curiosity of our child-like being and come into the state of flow.
Being in the state of flow equals being happy.
Consume less and create more!
21. CUT OFF
More and more people move within Europe from rural areas to big cities. There are more types of jobs to pursue in big cities compared to rural areas and there are also more things to do.
The only problem with this is that in big cities we are cut off from nature.
While nature is our natural environment we barely see meadows and fields near big cities anymore and we are most of the time inside huge buildings with airconditioning in the summer and artificial heating in winter.
We think that we don´t need nature and that it´s ok to be cut off, but it isn´t.
Japanese scientists prove that “forest bathing” is the thing to do to fight stress, anxiety, and depression.
Which is basically spending time in nature, in this case in the forest.
Being connected to nature can truly fuel our happiness.
Try it out next time when you feel stressed out and see how it will benefit your overall well-being.
22. UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE
For the sake of your health and happiness – stop living an unhealthy lifestyle!
Health and happiness are heavily interlinked with each other.
Being unhealthy can affect your happiness radically.
We can´t affect all the things happening to us health-wise, but there are things we can influence our habits.
8 little health-related habits you can change right now to boost your happiness:
- Sleep more
- Drop alcohol
- Drink less coffee
- Stop smoking (if you do)
- Eat less processed foods
- Don´t eat fast foods
- Exercise regularly
- Relax more
23. POOR NUTRITION
Did you know that our gut bacteria influence how we feel?
We can literally affect our mood by changing our gut flora.
Poor nutritional foods are linked to bacteria who let us feel down.
An improved gut flora helps to fight anxiety, ADHD, and depression.
Good mood can be influenced by good food!
If you want to learn more about it I can highly recommend reading the book Brain Maker by Dr. David Perlmutter.
For me personally high quality, organic, fruits, veggies, seeds and nuts are the way to go!
My first step towards healthy eating and saying goodbye to poor nutrition was when I decided to change my unhealthy vegetarian diet to a vegan diet in 2013.
I now see food in a completely different way, never regretted my decision and enjoy choosing the healthy option over junk food!
If you are interested in starting a plant-based diet, here is a good way to start.
A short recap of how to live a happy life by stop doing these things:
1. MAKING EXCUSES
Stop making excuses why you aren´t living the life you want and start doing!
2. BEING LAZY
Stop being lazy and know that in order to live a happy life you have to give up one thing which is called laziness.
“Dreams don´t work unless you do” – John C. Maxwell
3. BEING EGOISTIC
Know your boundaries and care for yourself but don´t be egoistic.
4. HAVING A CLOSED MINDSET
Acknowledge that life is not happening to you, but you are the creator of your own experiences and of your own happiness.
5. BEING LED BY FEAR
Don´t let fear stop you from going for your dreams in life.
6. BEING INDECISIVE
Know what you want and don´t waste much time being in between choices.
7. HAVING A VICTIM MINDSET
Start taking responsibility for your life. Move away from the victim mindset and own the power you have, to create the life you desire.
Learn to relax and be mindful to eliminate unnecessary stress from your life.
9. COMPARISON GAME
Don´t compare yourself to other people.
Learn from them and from your own mistakes but don´t try to be like them. You are unique as you are and that´s your superpower.
10. HAVING NO VISIONS AND NO GOALS
You need to have a future vision for your life and goals.
Know what you want in life and act accordingly.
12. BEATING YOURSELF UP FOR PAST MISTAKES
Take your past mistakes as a lesson to learn from and move on.
13. LACK OF SELF AWARENESS
Be self-aware about your thoughts and feelings as these shape your reality.
14. LACK OF SELF WORTH & SELF CONFIDENCE
Build self-confidence and know your self-worth by practicing self-love and self-care.
15. BEARING GRUDGES
Let go all things from the past which don´t serve you now and in your future.
Stop gossiping about other people. If you dislike something in someone else look inside yourself instead and ask yourself.
What can I do for myself in this particular area?
We gossip about other ppl mostly because we have a lack in the exact area of life.
Connect with people you enjoy to be with. High-quality relationships are the greatest contributors to living a happy life.
18. BEING JUDGEMENTAL
Stop judging yourself and others for little things in life. Nobody is perfect.
19. BEING ONLINE 24/7
Know when to disconnect and when to take a break.
20. CONSUMING INSTEAD OF CREATING
Create more and consume less. In the long run, I believe it´ll make you happier.
21. BEING CUT OFF FROM NATURE
Connect with nature. Go for a walk into the forest or nearby park. Enjoy the scent of trees and the sound of nature regularly.
22. LIVING AN UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE
Care for yourself. Examine your habits and appreciate your body, mind, and soul.
23. POOR NUTRITION
Fuel your body with high nutritious foods instead of junk food.
“You are what you eat. Choose healthy” – Lilla Liptak