Have you ever noticed that anytime you decide to go for your dreams soon after the feeling of being powerful and capable to reach your goals, suddenly fear creeps in with a mix of unbearable discomfort around your goal?
Congrats this just means that you are a human being.
Every time we have a big dream or a goal we want to realize we will experience fear and discomfort around it.
This is a natural part of our human existence.
The reason for this is how our brains work.
Our brain is unfamiliar with our obtained goal because we haven’t experienced it yet.
Therefore it will do everything possible to warn us before we do something that may harm or even kill us.
It’s only comfortable with the things we already know.
All the past things we’ve already experienced mean that they kept us alive and are therefore memorized by our brain as “safe”.
Unfamiliar new situations, on the contrary, might represent a threat to our life.
Our brain warns us, with fear and negative thoughts around the new goal, because the no 1 job of our brain is to keep us safe and to keep us alive.
This warning system is very helpful in dangerous situations.
However, sometimes this very same warning system is the reason why we don’t go for our dreams and stay in our comfort zone instead.
We believe what our brain is signaling us and we let us stop going for our dreams by negative thoughts and fear.
Because not all new goals are in reality a potential threat to our lives, it’s important to know how to deal with the negative thoughts around our goal and how to turn the fear that is stopping us into fuel to move us towards our goal.
TABLE OF CONTENT
- How to turn your fear into fuel
- Reframe your thoughts
- Know that positive affirmations won’t work
- Align with your future self
HOW TO TURN YOUR FEAR INTO FUEL
Let’s imagine you have a goal you want to reach and experience fear and negative thoughts around it.
Your goal is to quit your 9 to 5 and to build a small business instead.
The fearful thoughts around it could be:
- I can’t build a business
- I don’t know how to build a business
- What if I won’t make any money
- What if people won’t like what I have to offer
- What if no one will buy my stuff
These are just 5 fearful thoughts you might face around this one goal.
Most of the people listen to their brains and let themselves stop pursuing their goals.
They give in, believe in the fearful thoughts and give up before they even try to make it happen.
Some people may say it’s realistic that I don’t know it, therefore, I won’t do it.
Which is true at that moment and I wouldn’t suggest practicing wishful thinking instead.
Pretending that you can do it while you can‘t isn’t the solution.
But there is a way your fear can help you reach your goals.
You can use your fear as your fuel to reach your goals by reframing your fear into a strategy.
The desired goal is your destination.
And the way to your destination is what’s shaping you into the person you can become.
By not giving in to your fearful thoughts but rising above them you give yourself the possibility to unfold your true potential.
I share with you a quick yet very effective exercise on how you can turn your fear into your fuel.
Take out a piece of paper + a black pen and write down all negative thoughts you have connected to your desired result.
Once you’ve done that take a red pen and reframe all your fearful thoughts.
Let’s take the 5 fearful thoughts from above and reframe these and see how we can use them as fuel to reach the goal.
- I can’t build a business into “How can I build a business?”
- I don’t know how to build a business into “What steps do I need to take to build a business?”
- What if I won’t make any money into “How can I make money?”
- What if people won’t like what I have to offer into “How do I find the people who want to have my offer?”
- What if no one will buy my stuff into “How can I ensure that people will buy my stuff?”
See what’s happening here? Your problem suddenly turns into a solution-oriented question that holds the answer to your problem.
REFRAME YOUR THOUGHTS
You can reframe all your fearful thoughts you have connected to your goal.
The results, in this case, are questions to yourself.
With these open questions, you tap into the creative side of your brain and give your brain the possibility to find solutions.
Your brain loves to support you and to find solutions.
One major thing I learned from my mentor, hypnotherapist Marisa Peer is that your brain always believes what you tell it to believe.
If you say “I can’t do it.” your brain will always look for evidence why you can’t do it.
And this certainly won’t help you reach your goals.
However, I found out that it won’t help to just place a positive affirmation on top of your belief either.
KNOW THAT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS WON’T WORK
Pretending “I can do it” while you deeply believe that you can’t won’t work.
Placing a question “How can I do it?” however will catapult you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Your brain suddenly isn’t focused on what you can and can’t do but on finding a solution on how to make it happen.
Finding answers to your questions can now become your mini-goals.
Once you have the answers you can then turn these into your strategy to reach your overall goal.
Fearful thoughts like “ I can’t do it” aren’t there to stop you.
They are simply there to signal you that you haven’t experienced them before and you don’t know how to do it yet.
ALIGN WITH YOUR FUTURE SELF
As author William Arthur Wald said: “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”
Whenever you think about your goal from your current situation you will always feel scarcity around it.
It’s totally normal. You can’t see it yet & you physically don’t have it yet. You’ve never experienced it before, therefore you feel lack around it.
Reaching your goal from a state of mind in scarcity and lack will be very challenging.
What successful people do instead is to imagine themselves already having what they want.
Their state of mind is in abundance.
They start pursuing their goals from this abundant place.
Being grateful for what you already have combined with regular visualization of your goal helps you to operate from an abundant place of your mind.
For more tips on how to reach your goals download the free Reach Your Goals Guide.
All tools I recommend or mention in this post at a glance:
- Reach Your Goals Guide is a free downloadable guide showing you the 4 steps you have to take in order to reach your goals.
Want to learn more about reaching your goal?
Check out also the post How to create your best life.
You might be also interested in How to realize your dreams with ease.