Today I want to talk about 7 mindset lessons I’ve learned from Brooke Castillo for more success in life and business.
Brooke Castillo is a Life and Business Coach, a multi-million dollar online business owner & the founder of The Life Coach School.
She has a strong opinion about her world view and is I believe, therefore, a polarizing personality.
You probably either love or hate her style.
I’m following her since 2018 and love her positivity, her insights and the nuggets of wisdom she drops along the way.
So let’s get started with the things I learned from Brooke Castillo.
TABLE OF CONTENT
- Simplified model
- Self-coaching model
- Goal setting with the CTFAR model
- Life is always 50/50
- We are in control of our thoughts
- Circumstances in life are always neutral
- You can’t control other people’s opinion
I started studying personal development 20 years ago.
Not only through books & meditation but also through various amazing teachers, I had the chance to learn a lot about myself and about life itself.
Some of the amazing teachers I could learn from so far were: Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Marisa Peer, Lisa Nichols, Tony Robbins just to name a few.
Brooke was able to boil down all the things I’ve learned so far to its core with her simplified model.
And it goes like this:
Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results in life.
The circumstances we are in are always neutral.
You either have positive or negative thoughts about the circumstances you are in.
And these thoughts influence how you feel about a certain situation, how you act and the results you are creating in your life.
I personally love, love, love her simplified model.
It’s basically everything I’ve learned in the past 20 years from my various teachers boiled down to the point.
Another thing I learned from Brooke and really love is the self-coaching model she created.
It’s called the CTFAR model and stands for.
C = circumstances
T = thoughts
F = feelings
A = actions
R = results
With this model, you can coach yourself out of the problem you are in.
Sidenote: if you have bigger problems you should definitely contact a certified life coach or a therapist to help you with it and not do it on your own!
I personally use this model to coach myself out of little blocks and problems coming along my way in life.
To do so you can take the CTFAR model and begin with your thoughts and work yourself down to your feelings, actions and finally to your results.
- T = what are your thoughts about the circumstances (eg the problem) you are currently in?
- F = what are the feelings that are generated because of these thoughts?
- A = what’s the action you are taking because of the thoughts and feelings you have regarding your problem?
- R = what’s the result you are creating because of the action you are taking that is generated by the feelings and your thoughts regarding your problem?
Remember that according to Brooke Castillo the circumstance (what you perceive as the problem) is neutral.
So if you’re struggling with the feelings, your action or the results in your life start by thinking different thoughts.
You can change your thoughts, feelings, and actions regarding the circumstances you are in (= regarding your problem)
GOAL SETTING WITH THE CTFAR MODEL
It’s also possible to use the CTFAR model for goal setting.
You simply turn the model upside down and put into the equation the result (= the goal you have) and reverse engineer from bottom to top like this:
- R = the results you want to have (you start here)
- A = the actions you need to take in order to reach that goal
- F = the feelings you have to generate in order to take action
- T = and the thoughts you need to think to create the feelings that bring you to your desired action and ultimately to your desired results
The circumstance stands neutral.
LIFE IS ALWAYS 50/50
Another profound thing I learned from Brooke Castillo is that life is always 50/50.
Life is always 50% positive and 50% negative.
We can not avoid negativity and problems happening to us in life.
Problems are a natural part of our human existence.
We can have goals but it’s a misconception to think that once we reach our goal X our life will be perfect.
Usually, once we reach our goal X than something else comes along our way that wasn’t planned or goes wrong.
WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR THOUGHTS
This is a thing I got really clear about for the very first time through my silent meditation retreat in New Zealand back in 2011.
But once again Brooke reminded me of the fact that we are in control of our own thoughts which influences how we feel and how we act in life.
No matter which circumstances we are in we have the power to choose one thought over another.
We aren’t forced to think the way we are thinking.
Once we recognize a thought that doesn’t serve us in any way it takes time and effort to change it.
But we have the ability to change our thoughts whenever we catch ourselves thinking thoughts that aren’ serving us in any way.
CIRCUMSTANCES IN LIFE ARE ALWAYS NEUTRAL
Like mentioned earlier according to Brooke Castillo’s teachings circumstances in life are always neutral.
It’s all about how we perceive things in life and not about the circumstances itself.
We make the circumstance being our problem by having negative thoughts about it.
For someone without fresh water and any money, 1 cup of water and 1 dollar per day would probably be a blessing.
While for someone who usually has a lot of money and plenty of water having only 1 cup of water and 1 dollar per day may be a disaster.
The circumstance in both situations is the same.
There is one person having 1 cup of water and 1 dollar per day.
But how the person perceives the situation is different based on their previous experiences and thoughts.
How the person thinks about the circumstance influences how he/she feels and acts about the circumstance.
While for the one the same situation (circumstance) is a blessing for someone else it might be a curse.
YOU CAN’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLES’ OPINIONS
No matter how nice and gorgeous you are there will be people in life who will hate you.
While we, especially women are taught from an early age through different movies and through culture to be always nice we can’t please everyone, and that’s ok.
It’s not your task to make all people love you.
Their perception of you is based on the thoughts they are thinking in their head based on their life experiences which you can’t control.
Their thoughts are influenced by all the previous experiences they had in life.
You can be the sweetest person on planet earth and there’ll be people who’ll disagree with you and not like you.
It’s like being the tastiest chocolate bar or smoothie on planet earth and there will be still always people who complain because they don’t like chocolate or because they just dislike all kind of smoothies.
All tools I recommend and mention in this post at a glance:
- Self-Coaching 101 is the book where Brooke Castillo explains her self-coaching model.
- The Life Coach School podcast is the personal development podcast I love listening to and recommend to check out.
Want to learn more about creating an amazing life and business?
Check out the post How to reach your life and business goals
You might be also interested in How to reach your goals by using fear as your fuel & in How to plan your best year